He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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