Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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