bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
