it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
