Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
