ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
