Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
