this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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