Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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