I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
