at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Damn victory sex feels great
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
