its not stalking. its research.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
