ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
