I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
