what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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