We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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