sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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