Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
