She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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