So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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