there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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