i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize