He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
