You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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