By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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