I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
