You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
