I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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