I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
