I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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