I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize