Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
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I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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