We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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