So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize