No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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