Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
