Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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