Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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