...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
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