you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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