Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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