i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I AM VODKA MAN
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
