i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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