...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
