there was a trapeze. enough said
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
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