Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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