im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
