Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
