brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
That's when you crack a 10am beer
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
