He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
