this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
