I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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