There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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