you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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