I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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