It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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