just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
