Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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