Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
