I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
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