dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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