Sponge bath it is.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
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duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
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I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy