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• (518): View more from New York

  Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (253): View more from Washington

  You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?

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• (425): View more from Washington

  The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch

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• (415): View more from California

  Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?

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• (813): View more from Florida

  My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question

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