it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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