I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
