I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
