I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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