I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented taco cereal.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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