i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
