I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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