I heard we made out
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
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