You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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